Dear Yuletide Santa,
This year, I went... obscure. Even for Yuletide. Which is saying something. This year, maybe I'll get a story based on a music video and/or a 90s style (but not a 90s ERA) point-and-click supernatural murder mystery game! Looking through the fandoms this year, I know there's going to be a bumper crop of cool jazz to read, and I look forward to your story, made from artisanal organic homespun quips and sentences and paper bullets of your own pure brain!
First, the REQUESTS:
Genghis Khan (Miike Snow)
I feel some earlier glimpses at Villain and Agent's earlier interactions would be... illuminating. Especially if there weren't any henchmen around. Sure, it all ends in sexy romance-dance fighting and domestic turtlenecks, but Villain... Let's call him Karel Szabó, because why not (um... it allegedly means Manly Tailor)? and... Devon, that guy looks like a Devon, Devon Nils. There is backstory galore there, and at least one back alley hookup, amirite? Flashbacks, please!
Dublin Murder Squad (Tana French)
Scorcher is so very lonely, and he was clearly genuinely fond of Richie, and Richie was fucking ADORABLE and A+ about being a good mate and second. So. If he and Richie could somehow... have ALL THE HUGS, jesus, Scorcher needs so many hugs. Please write a nice little unlikely fix it for our Scorcher?
Or how about something narrated by Sam? I feel, like, 90% sure that all that late night whiskey and hanging out together with Cassie and Rob ended in at LEAST one inappropriate kiss for/from at LEAST two people.
Blackwell Series (Video Games)
I shipped Lauren and Joey. Banter? Check. Dangerous situations? Check. UST? CHECK.
I feel like Lauren spent a lot of time smoking/soaking in the bathtub that year, frustrated and angry, and just trying to... relax.
Joey maybe could have... helped... with that. I mean, sure, he's intangible except for his necktie... but he's intangible except for a necktie... that *tingles*. ::koff, koff::
Queen’s Thief (Megan Whalen Turner)
You know, we have yet to meet any of Gen's brothers and sisters, of which he has more than one of each, as near as I can tell. A little family life? His father? (who loved him enough to try his damndest to kill his son rather than see him tortured to death at her hands...) What must they think of Attolia?
Again, I love any eye on Gen, especially Attolia, Eddis or Phresine, and I am eager to see him loafing around or plotting against other kingdoms.
Also, if you have a little Costis/Aris lying around somewhere, I would like to see it. Those cuties.
I love temple stories, so feel free to sing me a song of the gods! Attolia telling Gen a story (in bed in the afterglow), Aris telling Costis a story (that leads to bed), Phresine telling a story to someone's children... before bed. I feel sure Eddis and Sophos will have a million adorable kiddos and Attolia and Gen will fret about heirs initially and then have one golden egg...
I ship them, okay? They have CHEMISTRY. And I think Patty might be reluctant, because maybe she's never been with a woman, and maybe she's feeling a little technophobic on top of that, okay? She knows she's got a Brain, she has one of those Iron Man Holographic Maps of the ENTIRE city behind her eyes, okay, all glowing and shit, but these ladies are NEXT LEVEL...
And maybe Holtzmann keeps showing off for her in the lab, and maybe she woos her with SCIENCE... with actual, literal chemistry lessons?
Sweet makeouts are encouraged, but feel free to pan that camera away, Patty will NOT live in a surveillance state, all right?
MacDonald Hall - Gordon Korman
The guys end up at different colleges. At different grad schools. In different countries. But they do keep in touch. AND THEY FALL IN LOVE AND GET MARRIED after, I am sure, countless ridiculous hijinx. OMG if you get all epistolary on me I may have to COVER YOU IN GOLD STARS AND FESTOON YOU WITH CANDY HEARTS <3<3<3
DOUBLE SECRET BONUS POINTS if you have Boots work with Justin Trudeau and either/both of them having a crush on JT, which makes the other one WILDLY JEALOUS.
* FYI, Gordon Korman is my namesake/NEMESIS, so NO PRESSURE
FYI, Gordon Korman is my namesake/NEMESIS, so NO PRESSURE
Now, here are some ideas about what I like to find under the tree/in my stocking Yuletide Morn:
What do you like about the canon? What do you like about the characters, if you specified?
I love that they're conflicted, and that they have no illusions - they know they're playing roles, and that they're defined and ruled by them, and then they say FUCK IT and reject those constraints, and declare their love. They both know their hearts aren't in world domination/spying against an allegedly evil guy who's clearly not gotten around to successfully holding the world hostage in the ten years they've known each other. So they only maintain the fiction in hopes of catching the other's attention... Oh, sorry, I can't see what crimes Szabó is committing because of the HEARTS IN MY EYES
The Queen’s Thief
I love that Gen GROWS UP. He stops being a brash, willful little self-involved punk (even though his intentions were always good). He BECOMES. I love that Attolia lets herself love him and lets herself trust the world again, even though the threats against her and her nation are probably greater than ever. I love that Eddis is their friend before she’s a ruler. I love that Costis loved Gen ages before he knew he did, and that Gen loves him unswervingly (enough to CHANGE HIS RELIGION), and maybe did (just a little) even before he chose poor Costis as his unwitting linchpin. I love that Sophos is going to blush every time he touches Eddis’ hand for, like, a solid year.
Gordon Korman must have loved his school. Bruno’s schemes are fundamentally big-hearted, if often misguided (at least back when he was 12). Bruno’s irrepressible spirit, his can-do attitude and his grand plans are the reason MacDonald Hall is so delightful – but Bruno would be half the man he is without his friend Boots. That constant, solid, if sometimes sighing, eye-rolling and reluctant, support made Bruno great. Bruno believes in himself, yes, but without Boots to believe in him, too, he would probably just be... delusional. And maybe even imaginary altogether. BRUNO/BOOTS 5EVA!!!eleventy!!111!!
The Blackwell Series
I love how loyal Joey is. Sure, he's desperate and compelled and stuck in a shitty job that entails goading very reluctant people to do ridiculously hard jobs by resorting to LITERALLY HAUNTING THEM...but he does what he can to make the best of a bad situation - and you know, it's pretty fucking bad, actually. While Lauren and Rosa are doing good work (protecting living people and granting restless spirits peace), there is a very real toll on their own quality of life - one that doesn't really come with a lot of balancing perks. Sure, banter is fun and all... but banter with an invisible presence can make the rest of your life suuuuuper awkward. While it's nice that Lauren, and later Rosa, always have Joey to count on, they also kind of ONLY have Joey to count on, and this is absolutely the case for poor Joey. So it's heartbreaking, but I like to think that they at least have the option to choose to really *be* there for each other.
I love the friendship they have, all four of them. It felt very real and super fun and I would be happy to read a story where they bust a ghost or just break for donuts. It was a human, humane, ridiculous movie, and I believed they were friends who immediately moved in and adopted a golden retriever together.
Dublin Murder Squad
The characters are flawed but always well-intentioned. Well. Maybe except for Rob. Fuckin' Rob, man. French's writing is vivid and alluring and visceral and hypnotically good--it's like a sensory hallucination sometimes. I love the characters with crippling self-doubt who power through, trying to fake it til they make it (Rob, Scorcher) and the sweethearts who do dumb shit trying to help someone out (Cassie, Richie), I love the cynical bastards who love fiercely (Frank) and I love that in a dark world, they still try to carry the light, they still search for something to right the wrongs.
What kind of stories do you like/dislike?
While I have found a cathartic cry both beautiful and satisfying, at the end of the day, I will always prefer a happy ending. I don't care for maiming injuries or major character deaths (murder mysteries and/or ghosts don't apply to this, natch). I love any kind of close relationship, be it best friends or passionate lovers. I just want everyone to be happy, basically.
How do you feel about crossovers and AUs of various sorts?
I love crossovers. ADORE them! I tend to love them best if I know both fandoms, so there's that, but mostly: <3. I dig an elegant mashup, man. And since characterization is my FAVORITE, and clever AUs can make characters pop, bring it on!
What genre (sff/action/romance/procedural/character study, etc) do you like/dislike?
I like everything! I am not kidding. Every time I’m like, eh, that’s not my favorite, then someone will write something amazing and I’ll be all, hey! THAT’S PRETTY GOOD. I would say what my actual least favorite is, but I fear you’d take it as a gauntlet being thrown.
Do you have any squicks/triggers/things generally you don't want?
I don't like humiliation or hate or physical suffering (I would probably make an exception in Gen’s case, since his work is so dangerous/demanding) or misogyny, but I feel like you'd never write stuff like that anyway, Yule Santa!!
How do you feel about het/gen/slash/femslash?
Yes, please! I can be persuaded of poly (por ejemplo, Cassie/Rob/Sam... ::koff, koff::), but in general, I like to keep it to two people (who love each other!) in bed at a time.
What ratings do you prefer?
I love all ratings, and dig the most modest to the most explicit; sometimes just having someone brush the backs of their fingers against the back of someone else's hand can be infinitely sigh-deeply satisfying – I might find TRIPLE X a little jarring in Queen's Thief, MacDonald Hall or Ghostbusters, but I'm usually amenable.
Do you have tropes/details/kinks you like particularly?
"Happy Ending" is probably my main trope. I don't think that's even a trope, really, but. I love me a good body swap, actually, and maybe above all others PRETEND BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS. WILL THEY FALL IN LOVE???? (man, I think a Holtzmann/Patty bodyswap would be RAD AS HELL, and I already actually wrote a Bruno/Boots where they pretend to be boyfriends, but I could easily read approximately 3000 more). I think that could work in just about every fandom I’ve ever been in.
Well, maybe there's no way Dublin Murder Squad could make it lighthearted. But.
Just think of Frank romancing Scorcher for... important undercover reasons. Say... as dates at a wedding just after marriage equality passes. Bringing him drinks and asking him to dance. SCORCHER WOULD BLUSH FOR SURE. Now make it Richie and they would totally sweetly kiss at the doorstep when Richie dropped Mick off...::props chin on hands and moons about how that would be soooooooooooo cuuuuuuuute::