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The Yuletide Special!
Merry Yuletide to all who celebrate sparkling pornography fanfiction!
Thanks for stopping by to get an idea of what I, a total stranger, might like for the holiday!
Some of the stuff I’d like to see:
The Queen's Thief - Megan Whalen Turner
You know, we have yet to meet any of Gen's brothers and sisters, of which he has more than one of each, as near as I can tell. His married sisters, after all, probably have children (his ‘married’ brothers, too, one assumes). Would he name one of his nieces his heir, if he and Irene are unable to conceive? I’d love to learn more about The Minister of War (who loved him enough to try his damndest to kill his son rather than see him tortured to death at her hands...) What must they think of Attolia?
Also, if you have a little Costis/Kamet in your heart, I would like to see it. Kamet is so prickly and Costis wants to give him so many hugs!
I love temple stories, so feel free to sing me a song of the gods! Attolia telling Gen a story (in bed in the afterglow), Kamet telling Costis a story (hmmm, a little Immakuk/Ennikar? They were in those mountain passes for like, 11 days. I feel like we were shorted a LOT of “huddling for warmth”, don’t you?)…that leads to bed), Phresine telling a story to someone's children... before bed. I feel sure Eddis and Sophos will have a million adorable kiddos and Attolia and Gen. Well. That child will have her ears full of tales from the very cradle, won't she?
Obviously I will read anything about Gen doing anything: practicing his pickpocketing skills at court, teasing Costis, braiding Attolia's hair. I also love Eddis and Gen being bros and just chatting and sniping back and forth. Punk made me a template of what I like and it works with every fandom! "I'm betting you probably want hugs, and maybe some good times. UST. Sweetly awkward first dates [HELEN AND SOPHOS, I'M LOOKING AT YOU]. A quest to find the perfect sweater [in Gen's case, something striking to distract an enemy, or in Attolia's to intimidate someone she needs a favor from]. Followed by a quest to defeat evil [HOW DOES ONE DEFEAT AN ENTIRE EVIL EMPIRE AND/OR A VOLCANO]. Handholding. Friendship. Make outs in the backseat of a car [maybe canoodling in a temple? SALACIOUS SCANDALOUS SACRALICIOUS but I’m pretty sure the gods would be cool with it ]. Sharing a soda in the library [GEN WILL CUT YOU IF YOU SPILL COFFEE ON HIS SCROLLS]. Rollerskating. Ice cream socials. CLAMBAKES. Finding a mysterious thing in the closet [AND STEALING THEM]. Teamwork. [TEAMWORK!] A literal roll in the hay. [YESSSSSS, ATTOLIA WILL GET STRAW IN HER HAIR AND GEN WILL LAUGH AND LAUGH]"
Dublin Murder Squad Series - Tana French
An AU here would suit me down to the ground.
Punk’s template: "I'm betting you probably want hugs, and maybe some good times [yes and YES]. UST. Sweetly awkward first dates [RICHIE AND MICK, I'M LOOKING AT YOU! Although, honestly Antoinette/Steven or Cassie/Sam… how on god’s green did Frank get Olivia to date him?]. A quest to find the perfect sweater [that matches fibers found at the crime scene, natch]. Followed by a quest to defeat evil [it’s only their MAIN JOB]. Handholding. Friendship. Make outs in the backseat of a car [Mick would surely say no to this… but could he be persuaded?]. Sharing a soda in the library. Rollerskating [Um. Not seeing this. Ice skating seems like a Cassie thing, though?]. Ice cream socials. CLAMBAKES. Finding a mysterious thing in the closet [AND REMEMBERING SOME DARK HAUNT FROM THE PAST YOU THOUGHT YOU’D SET BEHIND YOU GOOD AND ALL]. Teamwork. [TEAMWORK!] A literal roll in the hay. [Sam seems like a hayride sort, doesn’t he?]"
MacDonald Hall - Gordon Korman
Bruno and Boots are going to separate schools for undergrad for sure.
Punk’s template: "I'm betting you probably want hugs, and maybe some good times [yes and YES]. UST. Sweetly awkward first dates [I can’t even!! They’re such dorks. Bruno is so romantic, it’s going to kill Boots. I mean, Boots is going to have to talk him out of getting a tattoo for SURE.] A quest to find the perfect sweater [for Boots. To go on a date with that USURPER. Bruno is a bro, though, he will wingman the shit out of this first date. And that means that nice one Boots got from his Aunt. It’s cashmere, fancy but approachable, really brings out his eyes, shows off his shoulders. And not sneakers! Make an EFFORT.]. Followed by a quest to defeat evil [Bruno will surely have the bit in his teeth for climate change, or election security, corporate monopolies, oligarchy in general...]. Handholding. Friendship. Make outs in the backseat of a car [Bruno and Boots would either both own electric cars or not own cars at all. Which would make backseat makeouts challenging, to say the least.] Sharing a soda in the library. Rollerskating [I feel like Bruno and Boots would both definitely know how to ice skate, feel free to put them on a hockey team or a YOI AU of some kind?? and rollerskates must surely show up as a cog in a complex Bruno campaign?]. Ice cream socials. CLAMBAKES. Finding a mysterious thing in the closet [and realizing that it means BRUNO/BOOTS LOVED BOOTS/BRUNO ALL ALONG *GASP*]. Teamwork. [TEAMWORK! Cathy and Diane can help!!] A literal roll in the hay. [Bruno loves hayrides, decorative gourd season, Halloween, rescuing old farms from The Man… I mean, really, having them NOT get up to shenanigans around hay bales seems more unlikely.]"
FYI, Gordon Korman is my namesake/NEMESIS, so NO PRESSURE
Now, here are some more ideas about what I like to find under the tree/in my stocking Yuletide Morn:
What genre (sff/action/romance/procedural/character study, etc) do you like/dislike?
I like everything! I am not kidding. Every time I’m like, eh, that’s not my favorite, then someone will write something amazing and I’ll be all, hey! THAT’S PRETTY GOOD. I would say what my actual least favorite is, but I fear you’d take it as a gauntlet being thrown.
Do you have any squicks/triggers/things generally you don't want?
I don't like humiliation or hate or physical suffering (I would probably make an exception in Gen’s case, since his work is so dangerous/demanding) or misogyny, but I feel like you'd never write stuff like that anyway, Yule Santa!!
How do you feel about het/gen/slash/femslash?
Yes, please! I can be persuaded of poly (por ejemplo, Cassie/Rob/Sam... ::koff, koff::), but in general, I like to keep it to two people (who love each other!) in bed at a time.
What ratings do you prefer?
I love all ratings, and dig the most modest to the most explicit; sometimes just having someone brush the backs of their fingers against the back of someone else's hand can be infinitely sigh-deeply satisfying – I might find TRIPLE X a little jarring in, say, Queen’s Thief and Mac Hall, but hey, I can be persuaded.
What kind of stories do you like/dislike, what you like about these particular fandoms/characters, fandom-specific prompts?
While I have found a cathartic cry both beautiful and satisfying, at the end of the day, I will always prefer a happy ending. I don't care for maiming injuries or major character deaths (drawing room murders and/or ghosts and *ahem* the perils of thieving don't apply to this, natch). I love any kind of close relationship, be it best friends or passionate lovers. I just want everyone to be happy, basically.
Do you have tropes/details/kinks you particularly like?
"Happy Ending" is probably my main trope. I don't think that's even a trope, really, but. I love me a good body swap, actually, and maybe above all others PRETEND BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS. WILL THEY FALL IN LOVE???? I think that could work in just about every fandom I’ve ever been in.
Well, maybe there's no way Dublin Murder Squad could make it lighthearted. But. I believe in you! And they could pretend for work reasons! And/or do a heist! I love me a heist.
What do you like about the canon? What do you like about the characters, if you specified?
The Queen’s Thief
I love that Gen GROWS UP. He stops being a brash, willful little self-involved punk (even though his intentions were always good). He BECOMES. I love that Attolia lets herself love him and lets herself trust the world again, even though the threats against her and her nation are probably greater than ever. I love that Eddis is their friend before she’s a ruler. I love that Costis loved Gen (enough to CHANGE HIS RELIGION) ages before he knew he did, and that Gen loves him unswervingly, and maybe did (just a little) even before he chose poor Costis as his unwitting linchpin. I love that Sophos is going to blush every time he touches Eddis’ hand for, like, a solid year. And holy oh my gods, Kamet is going to be so tired of pretending to be exasperated by Costis being the best boyfriend ever. EMBRACE YOUR ADORABLE SERVICE TOP, KAMET ::grabby hands::
Dublin Murder Squad
The characters are flawed but always well-intentioned. Well. Maybe except for Rob. Fuckin' Rob, man. French's writing is vivid and alluring and visceral and hypnotically good--it's like a sensory hallucination sometimes. I love the characters with crippling self-doubt who power through, trying to fake it til they make it (Rob, Scorcher) and the sweethearts who do dumb shit trying to help someone out (Cassie, Richie, Steven), I love the cynical bastards who love fiercely (Frank, Antoinette) and I love that in a dark world, they still try to carry the light, they still search for something to right the wrongs.
MacDonald Hall
I love how much Bruno loves his school, how passionate he is about righting perceived wrongs. I love how long-suffering Boots is, even though he mostly enjoys the hijinx, and how loyal to each other they are. I like how The Fish genuinely likes them, and is sincerely interested in doing well by his students.
How do you feel about crossovers and AUs of various sorts?
I love crossovers. Fusionfic! College AUs. Coffeeshops! I dig an elegant mashup, man. And since characterization is my FAVORITE, and clever AUs can make characters pop, so bring it on! His Dark Materials (daemons for everyone!), Inception (IT IS A MIND HEIST), Brooklyn 99? GLOW? Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel (what is magic like in 2019?), Pacific Rim (the Dublin kids would be amazing here, so much DRIFT COMPATIBLE ANGST)? Holy oh my god, Bruno and Boots TEENWOLF AU?? Bake off? Bruno’s cakes would be riDONKulous and Boots would be so steady and precise… until he spins out and Bruno has to calm him down… MACDONALD HALL HOSTS THE DERRY GIRLS FOR SOME REASON AHAHAHAHA
Anyway, write what you like best and I'm sure to like it, too.
Happy Yuletide!!!
Thanks for stopping by to get an idea of what I, a total stranger, might like for the holiday!
Some of the stuff I’d like to see:
The Queen's Thief - Megan Whalen Turner
You know, we have yet to meet any of Gen's brothers and sisters, of which he has more than one of each, as near as I can tell. His married sisters, after all, probably have children (his ‘married’ brothers, too, one assumes). Would he name one of his nieces his heir, if he and Irene are unable to conceive? I’d love to learn more about The Minister of War (who loved him enough to try his damndest to kill his son rather than see him tortured to death at her hands...) What must they think of Attolia?
Also, if you have a little Costis/Kamet in your heart, I would like to see it. Kamet is so prickly and Costis wants to give him so many hugs!
I love temple stories, so feel free to sing me a song of the gods! Attolia telling Gen a story (in bed in the afterglow), Kamet telling Costis a story (hmmm, a little Immakuk/Ennikar? They were in those mountain passes for like, 11 days. I feel like we were shorted a LOT of “huddling for warmth”, don’t you?)…that leads to bed), Phresine telling a story to someone's children... before bed. I feel sure Eddis and Sophos will have a million adorable kiddos and Attolia and Gen. Well. That child will have her ears full of tales from the very cradle, won't she?
Obviously I will read anything about Gen doing anything: practicing his pickpocketing skills at court, teasing Costis, braiding Attolia's hair. I also love Eddis and Gen being bros and just chatting and sniping back and forth. Punk made me a template of what I like and it works with every fandom! "I'm betting you probably want hugs, and maybe some good times. UST. Sweetly awkward first dates [HELEN AND SOPHOS, I'M LOOKING AT YOU]. A quest to find the perfect sweater [in Gen's case, something striking to distract an enemy, or in Attolia's to intimidate someone she needs a favor from]. Followed by a quest to defeat evil [HOW DOES ONE DEFEAT AN ENTIRE EVIL EMPIRE AND/OR A VOLCANO]. Handholding. Friendship. Make outs in the backseat of a car [maybe canoodling in a temple? SALACIOUS SCANDALOUS SACRALICIOUS but I’m pretty sure the gods would be cool with it ]. Sharing a soda in the library [GEN WILL CUT YOU IF YOU SPILL COFFEE ON HIS SCROLLS]. Rollerskating. Ice cream socials. CLAMBAKES. Finding a mysterious thing in the closet [AND STEALING THEM]. Teamwork. [TEAMWORK!] A literal roll in the hay. [YESSSSSS, ATTOLIA WILL GET STRAW IN HER HAIR AND GEN WILL LAUGH AND LAUGH]"
Dublin Murder Squad Series - Tana French
An AU here would suit me down to the ground.
Punk’s template: "I'm betting you probably want hugs, and maybe some good times [yes and YES]. UST. Sweetly awkward first dates [RICHIE AND MICK, I'M LOOKING AT YOU! Although, honestly Antoinette/Steven or Cassie/Sam… how on god’s green did Frank get Olivia to date him?]. A quest to find the perfect sweater [that matches fibers found at the crime scene, natch]. Followed by a quest to defeat evil [it’s only their MAIN JOB]. Handholding. Friendship. Make outs in the backseat of a car [Mick would surely say no to this… but could he be persuaded?]. Sharing a soda in the library. Rollerskating [Um. Not seeing this. Ice skating seems like a Cassie thing, though?]. Ice cream socials. CLAMBAKES. Finding a mysterious thing in the closet [AND REMEMBERING SOME DARK HAUNT FROM THE PAST YOU THOUGHT YOU’D SET BEHIND YOU GOOD AND ALL]. Teamwork. [TEAMWORK!] A literal roll in the hay. [Sam seems like a hayride sort, doesn’t he?]"
MacDonald Hall - Gordon Korman
Bruno and Boots are going to separate schools for undergrad for sure.
Punk’s template: "I'm betting you probably want hugs, and maybe some good times [yes and YES]. UST. Sweetly awkward first dates [I can’t even!! They’re such dorks. Bruno is so romantic, it’s going to kill Boots. I mean, Boots is going to have to talk him out of getting a tattoo for SURE.] A quest to find the perfect sweater [for Boots. To go on a date with that USURPER. Bruno is a bro, though, he will wingman the shit out of this first date. And that means that nice one Boots got from his Aunt. It’s cashmere, fancy but approachable, really brings out his eyes, shows off his shoulders. And not sneakers! Make an EFFORT.]. Followed by a quest to defeat evil [Bruno will surely have the bit in his teeth for climate change, or election security, corporate monopolies, oligarchy in general...]. Handholding. Friendship. Make outs in the backseat of a car [Bruno and Boots would either both own electric cars or not own cars at all. Which would make backseat makeouts challenging, to say the least.] Sharing a soda in the library. Rollerskating [I feel like Bruno and Boots would both definitely know how to ice skate, feel free to put them on a hockey team or a YOI AU of some kind?? and rollerskates must surely show up as a cog in a complex Bruno campaign?]. Ice cream socials. CLAMBAKES. Finding a mysterious thing in the closet [and realizing that it means BRUNO/BOOTS LOVED BOOTS/BRUNO ALL ALONG *GASP*]. Teamwork. [TEAMWORK! Cathy and Diane can help!!] A literal roll in the hay. [Bruno loves hayrides, decorative gourd season, Halloween, rescuing old farms from The Man… I mean, really, having them NOT get up to shenanigans around hay bales seems more unlikely.]"
FYI, Gordon Korman is my namesake/NEMESIS, so NO PRESSURE
Now, here are some more ideas about what I like to find under the tree/in my stocking Yuletide Morn:
What genre (sff/action/romance/procedural/character study, etc) do you like/dislike?
I like everything! I am not kidding. Every time I’m like, eh, that’s not my favorite, then someone will write something amazing and I’ll be all, hey! THAT’S PRETTY GOOD. I would say what my actual least favorite is, but I fear you’d take it as a gauntlet being thrown.
Do you have any squicks/triggers/things generally you don't want?
I don't like humiliation or hate or physical suffering (I would probably make an exception in Gen’s case, since his work is so dangerous/demanding) or misogyny, but I feel like you'd never write stuff like that anyway, Yule Santa!!
How do you feel about het/gen/slash/femslash?
Yes, please! I can be persuaded of poly (por ejemplo, Cassie/Rob/Sam... ::koff, koff::), but in general, I like to keep it to two people (who love each other!) in bed at a time.
What ratings do you prefer?
I love all ratings, and dig the most modest to the most explicit; sometimes just having someone brush the backs of their fingers against the back of someone else's hand can be infinitely sigh-deeply satisfying – I might find TRIPLE X a little jarring in, say, Queen’s Thief and Mac Hall, but hey, I can be persuaded.
What kind of stories do you like/dislike, what you like about these particular fandoms/characters, fandom-specific prompts?
While I have found a cathartic cry both beautiful and satisfying, at the end of the day, I will always prefer a happy ending. I don't care for maiming injuries or major character deaths (drawing room murders and/or ghosts and *ahem* the perils of thieving don't apply to this, natch). I love any kind of close relationship, be it best friends or passionate lovers. I just want everyone to be happy, basically.
Do you have tropes/details/kinks you particularly like?
"Happy Ending" is probably my main trope. I don't think that's even a trope, really, but. I love me a good body swap, actually, and maybe above all others PRETEND BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS. WILL THEY FALL IN LOVE???? I think that could work in just about every fandom I’ve ever been in.
Well, maybe there's no way Dublin Murder Squad could make it lighthearted. But. I believe in you! And they could pretend for work reasons! And/or do a heist! I love me a heist.
What do you like about the canon? What do you like about the characters, if you specified?
The Queen’s Thief
I love that Gen GROWS UP. He stops being a brash, willful little self-involved punk (even though his intentions were always good). He BECOMES. I love that Attolia lets herself love him and lets herself trust the world again, even though the threats against her and her nation are probably greater than ever. I love that Eddis is their friend before she’s a ruler. I love that Costis loved Gen (enough to CHANGE HIS RELIGION) ages before he knew he did, and that Gen loves him unswervingly, and maybe did (just a little) even before he chose poor Costis as his unwitting linchpin. I love that Sophos is going to blush every time he touches Eddis’ hand for, like, a solid year. And holy oh my gods, Kamet is going to be so tired of pretending to be exasperated by Costis being the best boyfriend ever. EMBRACE YOUR ADORABLE SERVICE TOP, KAMET ::grabby hands::
Dublin Murder Squad
The characters are flawed but always well-intentioned. Well. Maybe except for Rob. Fuckin' Rob, man. French's writing is vivid and alluring and visceral and hypnotically good--it's like a sensory hallucination sometimes. I love the characters with crippling self-doubt who power through, trying to fake it til they make it (Rob, Scorcher) and the sweethearts who do dumb shit trying to help someone out (Cassie, Richie, Steven), I love the cynical bastards who love fiercely (Frank, Antoinette) and I love that in a dark world, they still try to carry the light, they still search for something to right the wrongs.
MacDonald Hall
I love how much Bruno loves his school, how passionate he is about righting perceived wrongs. I love how long-suffering Boots is, even though he mostly enjoys the hijinx, and how loyal to each other they are. I like how The Fish genuinely likes them, and is sincerely interested in doing well by his students.
How do you feel about crossovers and AUs of various sorts?
I love crossovers. Fusionfic! College AUs. Coffeeshops! I dig an elegant mashup, man. And since characterization is my FAVORITE, and clever AUs can make characters pop, so bring it on! His Dark Materials (daemons for everyone!), Inception (IT IS A MIND HEIST), Brooklyn 99? GLOW? Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel (what is magic like in 2019?), Pacific Rim (the Dublin kids would be amazing here, so much DRIFT COMPATIBLE ANGST)? Holy oh my god, Bruno and Boots TEENWOLF AU?? Bake off? Bruno’s cakes would be riDONKulous and Boots would be so steady and precise… until he spins out and Bruno has to calm him down… MACDONALD HALL HOSTS THE DERRY GIRLS FOR SOME REASON AHAHAHAHA
Anyway, write what you like best and I'm sure to like it, too.
Happy Yuletide!!!
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